What steps can parents take to help with the admissions process? Invest in test-prep tuition? Arrange a tour of local colleges, or a trip to another part of the country? Hire a private college admissions counselor? What’s reasonable? What are other parents doing? Where’s the line between support and over-involvement?

Is giving up your job to devote yourself full-time to helping your son or daughter with the application process going too far? Of course it is! But that’s exactly what some parents are in fact driven to do. This according to columnist Sue Shellenbarger writing in the Wall St Journal last week.

She tells of Suzanne Ducharme, a New York human-resources manager, who quit her job, she says, “to be here full time” with her daughter as she applied.

This might be an extreme. But Shellenbarger says:

As the biggest high-school graduating class in history — the class of 2009 — begins the college-search process, parents are abuzz over how to help. One mother of a high schooler, a manager for a New York financial-information concern, says friends are pressuring her to devote full time to the college search. With other parents on the case 24/7, she says, “they argue that by working, I’m putting my daughter at a disadvantage in today’s hypercompetitive college-admissions game.”

Part of the reason is the money involved. Today’s high tuition bills (over $200,000 for four years at a private school) give parents a big stake in the process. Putting your kid through college can be the largest expense for a family after buying a home.

But, c’mon, as complex as the admissions process is, giving up your job to help your kid figure it out is as ridiculous as giving up work to figure out how to complete your tax returns. Like the admissions process, the American tax system is mind-bendingly complex. But most of us invest $50 in Turbo-Tax, or pay H&R Block a couple of hundred dollars. Those with more complex returns might run up a bill of a few thousand with an accountant. But giving up work to do the job ourselves - that’s cutting off your nose to spite your face.

So with the admissions process. At the high end there are many excellent private college counselors. Test-prep services and other online resources are available for free or at a reasonable charge. If you are a newbie at this, check out our Tips Booklet for a quick primer on what’s involved. There’s a list of resources in Next Steps above.

Remember to keep things in perspective. A major role parents can play is to take the stress out of the process.

Shellenbarger advises:

Step back and give your child ownership. It’s fine to accompany teens on campus visits, backstop on deadlines and serve as a cheerleader and coach.

Bottom line: invest the time to help, but don’t give up your day job!

More on this story and other parents comments in the WSJ blog.